The Art of Decision Making: How to Overcome Temptation
Insights on overcoming temptation, setting boundaries, and planning for victory.
Part 2: How to Overcome Temptation
There were times I wondered how I ended up here. My plan wasn't to wreck my life, but here we are.
Being a night owl sometimes affects my decisions the next day. Lack of sleep can lead to poor choices.
Getting an adequate amount of sleep seems trivial to the decisions that have domino-style consequences. Chances are good that you never planned to wreck your life. The problem is, we don’t plan not to, either.
I don’t think anyone's plan is to be:
Overweight
Bankrupt
Hooked on pornography
In a wrecked marriage
Making dumb choices and then hiding, lying, and losing trust in your family
Our main point in last week’s article was:
The quality of your decisions determines the quality of your life.
We make our decisions, and our decisions make us. We’re not great decision-makers, but when we pause to define our values, we make better decisions. When we do this, our decisions won’t be based on what feels good, but on who we want to be for the rest of our lives.
Overcoming Temptation
Have you given into temptation and then regretted it? Why does that happen? It’s because we weren’t ready.
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”
“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Why should we prepare?
The enemy (the tempter) is coming for you
“For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.”
You are not as strong as you think
“Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.”
Studies show that people overestimate their ability to resist temptation. This is called restraint bias.
We all have that favorite thing, whether cheesecake, cookies, or something else. We tend to overestimate our willpower to resist, especially when on a fast or special eating plan to accomplish a health goal.
Why do we overestimate? Resisting temptation takes a lot of energy. When expending that energy, part of our brain that controls willpower becomes fatigued.
What’s interesting to me is that when you’re attempting to control your desire to make poor choices, often another area suffers. Like when you fight the temptation to yell at work, but then overeat after work. Or when you spend your energy preventing yourself from getting mad at your kids, and then you blow up at your spouse.
The reality is that self-control and willpower are a limited resource. The more you use, the less you have available. We prepare for temptation because the enemy seeks to test us, and overestimating our strength can lead to failure.
3 Keys to Fighting Temptation
1. Move the boundary
So many times, we say to ourselves, “How close can I get to the boundary without sinning?” Every week, I spend time with teenagers. Students who are trying to figure out life, and there have been times when I shake my head and wonder, “Why don’t they get it?”
They get so excited when they date that their brains turn off, and they ask questions like:
How much can we do?
How close can we get?
How far can I stay?
What if I just smell her hair?
I know many adults that ask these same questions when in a dating relationship. What’s funny is that we don’t do this in other areas of life.
When learning to play an instrument, if you don’t take lessons from a qualified instructor, you risk developing bad habits that become hindrances later. In our worship team, I had a piano player playing chords incorrectly. He was playing the correct notes, but his finger placement was wrong, so when he switched to a different chord, something was off. I didn’t notice until the day he told me that he had learned the correct way to play the notes, and it was hard to break the old habits.
Like learning an instrument, forming good habits is crucial. Crossing boundaries in any area can make it harder to resist temptation.
If you’re overspending on Amazon - give a trusted friend the password
If you’re spending 4 hours a day on Instagram - set a time limit
If you’re going out and hitting the clubs where you know you’re going to get drunk and hook up. Don’t go out.
We must create barriers between us and sin. What you might think is restrictive, is freeing.
“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
2. Consider the Fallout
When we give in to temptations, there’s always the risk that things could go horribly wrong.
Ask yourself, “What if the worst-case scenario comes true?”
Someone gets pregnant
You lose the trust of a loved one
You lose your reputation
You lose your job
Your marriage is over
You compromise your relationship with your kids
Numbers 32:23 (ESV): “But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the LORD, and be sure your sin will find you out.”
Here’s what I would think when considering the fallout:
If I betray my marriage vows, I compromise my integrity, I lose my wife’s trust, lose the respect of my leaders, your trust, I would hurt hundreds of people, and lose the ministry we’ve helped build.
A moment of sin could wreck a lifetime of serving Jesus.
The reality is that the enemy is going to attack. It’s a matter of when and whether you will be ready to resist his advances. Giving in to temptation can lead to severe consequences. Think about the potential fallout before making choices.
3. Plan Your Getaway
There’s a great example of this in Genesis 39:6–7 (ESV):
“So he left all that he had in Joseph’s charge, and because of him he had no concern about anything but the food he ate. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. And after a time his master’s wife cast her eyes on Joseph and said, “Lie with me.””
It would have been easy for Joseph to give in. He was all alone and no one would find out. She was a good-looking woman, young, and she made the first move. Joseph could have easily blamed God for being sold as a slave by his brothers and moved forward with sin by making it God’s fault.
We can use our disappointments to justify our disobedience.
You might say:
“My spouse is not meeting my needs. Therefore, I’m free to meet my needs somewhere else. God put me in this spot, so I will live in it.”
Joseph told Potiphar’s wife, no. Her husband trusts Joseph and puts him in a leadership position over his estate. Joseph didn’t sin with Potiphar’s wife, so does that mean the temptation was over? Nope. Day after day, she hit on him. Just like the enemy wears us down with temptation. Day after day.
You might think that Joseph was strong. He wasn’t. He had decided what he would do if the unthinkable happened: run. One day, Potiphar’s wife grabbed him with the intent to force herself upon him.
Genesis 39:12 (ESV): “she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house.”
For Joseph, it was better to have a good name than a good coat. He had already decided that if she grabbed him, he would run. When you’re not strong enough to resist it, run from it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV): “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
Decide for yourself what you will do when the enemy comes after you. Be ready. Plan your getaway. No one plans to mess up—few plan not to. Be honest about where you’re vulnerable. Decide that you’re going to put distance between you and the temptation.
I have promised God and my wife that I will be faithful for the rest of my life. This is why I take precautions to prevent a situation where I might be tempted. Why would I resist temptation in the future if I had the power to eliminate it today?
When your values are clear, your decisions are easy. When you’re tired, overwhelmed, angry, emotional, discouraged, and depressed, your decisions won’t be based on emotions at the moment but on the values God placed in your heart.