The Hardest Part of Following Jesus

What God taught me during the seasons when it felt like nothing was happening.

Waiting is like sending a text message, watching the read notification appear, and then… nothing. You wonder what’s happening because they normally respond to your messages. Then you start asking more questions. Why are they not responding? Did I do something? What am I missing?

Waiting on God often feels like this. Not because He is absent, but because silence can make us question ourselves.

Waiting might be the hardest part of my walk with Jesus. At a very young age, I knew deep in my soul that I would serve as a Pastor. It wasn’t because of pride, or some infatuation with the role, I just couldn’t escape the conviction that God placed in my heart.

I’m not a person that waits very well. I get fixated on what I think God wants from me and my cadence in pursuing that is much faster than it should be.

I can also be pretty forgetful, so being obedient in the moment is very important for me because missing something God wants me to do would be devastating.

My personality is one where:

• I naturally start making plans.

• I solve problems before anyone asks.

• If something is broken, I want to fix it.

• Standing still feels irresponsible.

Maybe you’re like me and you’re waiting, too.

• Waiting for direction.

• Waiting for a job.

• Waiting for healing.

• Waiting for reconciliation.

• Waiting for a spouse.

• Waiting for a child.

I’ve waited for all of those, and I can tell you that waiting often feels like failure. We all have different prayers, different circumstances, but the same questions.

When I was starting in ministry, I carried a deep conviction that God was calling me into pastoral ministry.

The road to the pulpit looked nothing like I expected. There were so many ups and downs that I questioned my calling more than once.

It seemed like others were being promoted before I was. That affected me more than I wanted to admit. I congratulated them. I smiled. I was careful not to let my voice change or reveal what was happening inside me. When no one was looking, I was quietly reminded of what I was still waiting for.

Then in prayer I would ask,

“God…

What’s wrong with me?

What are you doing that I can’t see?”

My heart has always been to be obedient. I was fine with a “not now” from God, but waiting felt like I was missing the mark.

This was during a time of ministry where things were going well. I was doing all the things I believed God had called me to do. Still, what I believed God had called me to do felt miles away.

After three churches, closed doors, and a lot of disappointment, I thought I might have disqualified myself somehow.

I would ask questions like:

• Did I miss God’s voice?

• Did I ruin His plan?

• Was I simply broken in ways that were only visible to others?

Looking back, I wasn't afraid that God had forgotten me. I was afraid I had failed Him.

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Why does God make faithful people wait?

There’s a part of us that automatically assumes delay means disapproval.

Why do we do that?

• I know that I wasn’t running from God, I was running toward Him.

• I know that I wasn’t asking for something sinful.

• I know that I genuinely wanted to serve.

So why would God slow someone down who wanted to obey Him?

My generation grew up playing video games, and one thing that sticks out to me is that as you follow along in a game, each milestone unlocks new abilities, new tools, and new areas.

Real life doesn’t work that way. God often gives us the next responsibility only after we’ve become the kind of person who can carry it.

Waiting is a tool God uses to sharpen us, to deepen our understanding, and to make us fully reliant on Him.

When I was 20 years old serving in a big church, that’s a trial-by-fire environment where my limited wisdom could have had disastrous consequences I’m not saying that I would have made terrible decisions, but I know that the environment (at that time) wasn’t one where I could have grown.

For instance, there are things in a big church that are just handed to you. It always seemed like the Pastor had the ability to show up on Sunday, give the message, and go home while the staff do everything else. From my perspective as a young staff member, that's all I could see. Now I know they carry people's grief, broken marriages, financial struggles, conflicts, hospital visits, staff issues, board meetings, and countless decisions no one ever sees.

Serving in big, small, and helping to plant a church gave me a perspective I would have never had if I had stayed in the big church. I’ll be honest here, some of those experiences felt like detours. There were times when my conversation with God was more like, “WHY?!?!”.

At 20, I thought the greatest gift God could give me was a platform. Looking back, the greatest gift He gave me was perspective.

God wasn’t wasting those years. He was making sure my character could support the calling He had already planned.

I’ve had to ask myself, what if God measures success differently than I do?

For me, success meant being in the center of God’s will, and that should be evident by the doors He’s opening.

While I was measuring whether God was opening doors, God was measuring whether I looked more like Jesus than I did yesterday.

• Was I learning to celebrate someone else’s success?

• Was I learning to serve without a title?

• Was I learning to obey before I was recognized?

• Was I becoming the kind of man who would point people to Jesus instead of myself?

There were plenty of growth areas I was blind to.

I went through a season where God was showing me that I didn’t need the church to give me permission to do what God had called me to do.

It’s embarrassing how obvious that was. For me, I love the church and I still believe it’s the best chance we have to look like Christ before His return.

At some point, I started telling myself that I would obey God when someone gives me the opportunity, but what really happened was the shift in me.

I realized that I can obey today with what God has already placed in my hands.

So I stopped waiting for someone else’s invitation and started being faithful with what God had already entrusted to me.

Not because I needed approval, but because I needed to serve. In that place, God could grow me in ways that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

Then I noticed something.

As I read scripture, I’ve noticed that God almost never gives someone great responsibility before first giving them a season of hidden growth.

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David’s Waiting Season

David was chosen out of a household of many older brothers to become the next king. He was anointed by the prophet Samuel, and then what happened? After being anointed, it would make sense for him to go right to the palace and being his reign.

But where was David? In the fields, caring for sheep. Keeping them safe. Feeding them.

Why would God train a future king by giving him sheep instead of a throne?

Imagine it.

Samuel has just anointed you. Your family watched it happen. You know you’re God’s chosen king.

And the next morning...

You wake up before sunrise. Grab your staff. Count sheep. Walk the same hills. Sleep under the same stars.

Nothing changed.

I can imagine he might have thought, “God… what are you doing?”

In all the waiting, God still didn’t remove Saul who was Israel’s current king. In fact Saul got to know David after he killed a giant of a man in battle when he was a young man.

The people loved David, and Saul became convinced David would eventually take the throne, so he tried to kill him before that could ever happen.

Even in that season, David waited.

Twice he stood over Saul and didn’t take his life. He chose not to end the waiting.

Even though everyone around him said this was God’s will. David trusted God more than his circumstances.

He could have shown up with his Mighty Men and taken the crown by force. But no, he didn’t take any shortcuts.

This is where I’ve learned that not every opportunity is permission.

It was in the fields, the palace, the battlefield, the caves, and the years on the run that God was forming David into a person that could carry the weight of the crown.

David wasn’t waiting to become king. He was already living like one. Not because he had the title and the responsibility, but because he had the character to carry it.

He protected sheep before he protected a nation and He learned to trust God against lions and bears before he trusted Him against Goliath. He served Saul faithfully before he replaced Saul and he refused to seize the throne before God entrusted it to him.

After years of serving people, I’ve learned that God doesn't prepare us for the assignment by giving us the assignment. He takes His time and prepares us for the assignment long before we carry that responsibility.

God wasn’t delaying the throne because He doubted David’s calling. God cared about the people David was about to serve so much that he chose not to rush the process.

God's greatest work often happens long before His greatest opportunities.

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How do we wait well?

Waiting well is not as passive as we think, but it’s active discipleship. The goal is to obey God with what He has already placed in our hands.

We need to be faithful with where we are right now. Don’t get hung up on a title, promotion, opportunity, or platform.

Ask yourself, “What has God already entrusted to me?”

Become a disciple before becoming a leader.

Jesus is inviting you to come to the table and sit with Him a while. It’s in these quiet moments that we can learn from Jesus, be corrected, and ultimately grow. It will take surrendering your time and what you think you should be doing.

The greatest leaders remain lifelong disciples.

Don’t confuse silence with absence.

God isn’t ghosting you.

He isn’t ignoring you.

He may simply be working somewhere you can’t yet see.

Waiting reveals what we worship.

If this opportunity that you’ve been waiting for never comes, would Jesus still be enough?

Keep serving

Waiting doesn’t mean you have to sit around. David kept shepherding.

Plenty of times I kept serving while I was waiting for God to open the next door.

Keep serving and know that God will open the next door when you’re ready.

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Who Are You Becoming?

Our goal in waiting should never be to just get through it, but to let God accomplish everything He wants to do through it.

David had no idea that while he was caring for sheep, God was preparing a nation.

You don’t know who your present faithfulness is preparing you to serve.

You don’t know what God is doing in the background.

God gave these words to Israel during their long season of exile. They waited decades. While this promise was given specifically to them, I think it reminds us of God’s character. He’s still working for His purposes even when we cannot see what He’s doing.

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

My prayer for you is that when you look back at the season you’re in now, the one you wanted to escape, you’ll realize that God was preparing you for everything He has planned.

I’ll leave you with a question. In your prayer time, ask God:

“God who are You helping me become while I wait?”

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