When It's Time to Let Go

Embracing Necessary Endings

Hi I’m Pastor Chris. I write this newsletter. If you’re enjoying these articles, consider supporting my work by subscribing below.

One thing that’s been a challenge for my wife and I, is finding time to read together. We've started a number of devotionals, only to drift away from them due to our busy schedules and the myriad of challenges that occupy our mental space. Can anyone else relate to that?

A theme that keeps resurfacing for both of us is the idea of seasons.

Recently, we’ve been reading "Necessary Endings" by Dr. Henry Cloud. We just finished chapter three together, and I must say, it’s been eye-opening. The book discusses why the seasons of our lives come to an end, making room for new beginnings. It's like pruning a plant: sometimes you have to cut away the old to allow for new growth.

Life, in many ways, is like a series of seasons that come and go. The challenge is moving with those seasons. Sometimes we do it well, and other times, we dig our heels in and stay too long in a season that has already changed. Have you ever found yourself stuck in a season, unable to move on? It’s like wearing a winter coat in the middle of July!

I’ve always considered myself someone who is pretty good with change, as long as I’m the one initiating it. But as I’ve entered new seasons of my life, I find myself becoming less and less accepting of change that I didn’t start. Does anyone else feel that way? It’s like being on a roller coaster that you didn’t ask to ride!

Then there are those seasons that drag on forever. You know the ones I’m talking about—where you can't even remember when they started, and you have no idea when they'll end. You're just carrying the load, hoping you can keep it together until the wheels fall off.

Dr. Cloud shares an example of two people who faced endings differently. One saw it as a chance to pause, regroup, and reinvent themselves for a new season. The other dug their heels in and threw everything they had at the problem, refusing to let go. As you might imagine, the one who paused and regrouped found success, while the other drove themselves into the ground. It’s like watching someone trying to push a car that’s out of gas—they’re putting in so much effort, but they’re not going anywhere.

One powerful example from the Bible of someone who embraced a necessary ending and found success is Abraham. In Genesis 12:1-4 (ESV), it says, "Now the Lord said to Abram, 'Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.' So Abram went, as the Lord had told him, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran." Abraham was called to leave behind his homeland, family, and security, stepping into the unknown solely on God's promise.

By embracing this necessary ending, Abraham opened the door to God's incredible plan for his life. His obedience led to him becoming the father of many nations, with his descendants being greatly blessed as God had promised. Abraham's story teaches us that necessary endings, while challenging, are often the gateway to God's greater plans. When we trust and follow His guidance, even when it means leaving behind the familiar, we position ourselves to receive His blessings and step into new beginnings.

So, how do we know when it's time to end something? This question has been on my mind a lot lately. It’s not always clear-cut, but there are signs if we pay attention. Sometimes it’s the persistent feeling of exhaustion, or the constant frustration that signals it’s time to move on. Other times, it’s the gentle nudging from God, guiding us toward something new.

For us, we’ve found that prayer and honest conversations with each other help us discern these times. We ask God for clarity and listen for His guidance. And when we finally decide to end something, we try to do it with grace and faith that something better is on the horizon.

Embracing necessary endings isn't easy, but it’s a vital part of growing and moving forward in life. Letting go of the old to make room for the new can be both liberating and terrifying. But in those moments, I remind myself of Isaiah 43:18-19: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

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4 Ways to Embrace Necessary Endings

1. Reflect and Recognize the Signs

Taking time to reflect on your current situation is crucial. Ask yourself: Is this season still fulfilling its purpose? Are you experiencing more frustration and exhaustion than joy and progress? Signs that it might be time for an ending include persistent feelings of being stuck, a lack of growth, or a clear sense that something new is calling. Journaling and prayer can be helpful tools in this process, allowing you to gain clarity and perspective.

2. Seek Wise Counsel

Sometimes, it’s hard to see the need for an ending when you’re in the middle of it. Talking with trusted friends, mentors, or spiritual advisors can provide valuable insight. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” Seek out those who know you well and can speak truth into your life. They can help you see things from a different angle and confirm whether it’s time to move on.

3. Plan and Prepare for the Transition

Once you recognize that an ending is necessary, it’s important to plan for the transition. This might involve setting new goals, creating a timeline, or developing new habits that support the next season of your life. Think of it like preparing for a journey: you wouldn’t set out without a map or supplies. In the same way, preparing for an ending helps ensure that you’re ready for what comes next. It might also involve having honest conversations with those affected by this change, ensuring they understand and support your decision.

4. Embrace Faith and Trust in God’s Plan

Endings can be scary and uncertain, but embracing them with faith can provide peace and assurance. Trust that God is in control and has a plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Embracing this promise can help you face necessary endings with confidence, knowing that God is making a way for something new and better.

So, as we navigate the seasons of our lives, let’s not be afraid to embrace necessary endings. They are, after all, the beginning of something new. What season are you in right now, and how is God calling you to move forward?