When Prayer Feels Awkward
How you can pray with boldness and confidence.
Hi, I’m Pastor Chris, and if you’re looking for encouragement to pray with confidence, this is the place for you! Grab a coffee and let’s chat! By the way - if this article is helpful, consider subscribing or sending a coffee.
One early morning, coffee in hand, I sat at my kitchen table, determined to have a meaningful prayer time. I had my Bible open, my notes app ready, and even a list of things I wanted to pray about.
Two minutes in, my mind was already wandering to the lunch I needed to make, meetings I needed to prepare for, and the text I still had not replied to. It felt like I had been pulled into a mental tug-of-war between my desire to connect with God and the noise of everyday life. I closed my Bible and thought, Am I even doing this right?
If you have ever felt that way, you are not alone.
Many of us start with the best intentions, yet find ourselves distracted, second-guessing our words, or feeling like we are not “spiritual enough” to do this well. We imagine that confident prayer is reserved for seasoned believers who can pray eloquently and without pause.
Here’s the truth: God is not listening for perfect speeches or polished delivery. He is listening for sincerity. He wants to hear your real heart, even if it comes with pauses, stumbles, or moments when you sit in silence before Him.
Two Biblical Pictures of Confident Prayer
In Luke 18:9-14, Jesus paints a vivid and almost uncomfortable contrast between two men who went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, the religious elite, the man everyone expected to “get it right” with God. His prayer was polished, public, and dripping with self-assurance: thanking God that he was not like other people, listing his spiritual credentials, and essentially reminding God of his righteousness.
But then there was the tax collector. Nobody wanted him there. He was the outsider, despised for his betrayal of his people. And yet, he is the one who shows us what true confidence in prayer looks like. He stood far off, almost as if he did not dare to take another step closer. He “would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’” (Luke 18:13 ESV). This was not polished or impressive. It was raw. It was desperate. It was honest. And Jesus delivers the punchline: “I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other” (Luke 18:14 ESV).
In God’s kingdom, confidence is not found in eloquence but in humility. It is not in how beautifully we speak but in how honestly we come.
Then there is Elijah in 1 Kings 18, another picture of confidence, but expressed very differently. Elijah was not hidden in the back of the temple. He was standing on Mount Carmel in front of a nation that had turned to idols, facing down 450 prophets of Baal. The tension was electric. All morning, the prophets of Baal had shouted, danced, and even cut themselves, desperately trying to get a response from their god. Nothing happened.
Then Elijah steps up. No theatrics. No frantic shouting. Just a simple, faith-filled prayer: “Answer me, O Lord, answer me, that this people may know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back” (1 Kings 18:37 ESV). That is it. No flattery. No bargaining. No showmanship. And in response, God sends fire from heaven so intense that it not only consumes the sacrifice but also the wood, the stones, and even the water in the trench.
Two very different situations. One in quiet humility, the other in bold confrontation. But both prayers were confident, not because the people praying were strong, but because their faith was in a God who hears and responds.
That is the heart of confident prayer. It is not about personality. It is not about volume. It is about knowing who you are talking to and trusting Him enough to come as you are, whether in whispers of repentance or bold declarations of faith.
Why We Struggle with Confidence
I remember listening to pastors and other church leaders pray and thinking, “They must have a much closer relationship to God than I do.”
I have heard people pray with poetic language, steady voices, and perfectly timed Scripture references, and I have shrank inside, wondering if God prefers their words over mine. I have carried the weight of seasons when my prayers felt like they bounced off the ceiling and crashed at my feet.
I have cried, pleaded, and whispered desperate prayers into the night, only to wake up and feel like nothing had changed. And over time, that silence from heaven can wear you down. It can make you hesitant even to try again.
I have also misunderstood God’s heart. I have pictured Him with crossed arms, distant and unimpressed, waiting for me to “get it right” before He would listen. I have imagined Him too busy to notice, too holy to bother with the messiness of my words or the weakness of my faith. But that is not the God I have come to know. Scripture tells me, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace” (Hebrews 4:16 ESV).
God is not distant. He is not waiting for perfection. He is the Father who invites me close, and my boldness in prayer comes from His grace, not from how polished my words are.
10 Steps to a More Confident Prayer Life
Start Where You Are
Stop waiting for the “perfect” moment when you feel holy enough, calm enough, or knowledgeable enough to pray. I have learned that if I wait for that, I will miss the very moments God is inviting me in. Start now, at the kitchen table, in the car, while folding laundry. God is not grading your setting or your timing. He just wants you.Remember Who You’re Talking To
This one changes everything. You are not talking to a distant CEO who is too busy for your concerns. You are talking to your Father. A Father who knows you, loves you, and leans in to listen. Matthew 7:11 reminds us, “How much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” That is the posture of God toward you.Pray Out Loud
I cannot tell you how many times I have started “praying in my head” only to realize five minutes later I am making a grocery list. Praying out loud helps you stay focused and reminds you this is an actual conversation. It does not have to be loud or polished, just real.Anchor Your Prayers in Scripture
Sometimes I run out of words. That is when I let God’s Word do the heavy lifting. I might pray, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1), and then thank Him for the ways He has provided. Or I will use Philippians 4:6-7 and tell Him exactly what is making me anxious. Scripture keeps your prayers both honest and aligned with His truth.Be Honest
If you are mad, tell Him. If you are scared, say it. If you are doubting, confess it. God already knows, but there is something freeing about putting it into words. David did not hold back in the Psalms, and neither should you. Honesty builds intimacy.Set a Daily Prayer Rhythm
Confidence grows with consistency. Pick a time you can stick to, even if it is just five minutes. For me, mornings with coffee work best. Find your rhythm, guard it, and show up. Over time, you will start to crave that space with God.Pray for Others
When I am feeling stuck or self-focused, praying for others shifts my perspective. It is a reminder that the world is bigger than my problems. Keep a short list of people you can pray for regularly. You might be surprised how much this builds your faith.Record Your Prayers
I keep a journal where I jot down what I am praying for. Looking back and seeing how God has answered, even if it was not in the way I expected, has been one of the biggest confidence boosters in my prayer life. It is proof in ink that He hears and responds.Thank God Daily
Gratitude is like oxygen for your faith. End your prayers by thanking Him, not just for what He has done, but for what He will do. This keeps your heart hopeful and your perspective aligned with His goodness.Celebrate Small Wins
Do not wait until you are praying like a seasoned pastor to celebrate progress. If you stayed focused longer than yesterday, that is a win. If you prayed for someone without overthinking it, that is a win. Recognizing growth builds momentum and reminds you that God is at work in you.
Pray This Prayer
Father, thank you that we can come to you just as we are. Teach us to approach you with the confidence that comes from knowing we are loved and heard. Remove the fear of getting it wrong and replace it with a deep trust in your goodness. Please help us to speak honestly, listen attentively, and rest in your presence. May our prayers draw us closer to you each day, and may we find joy in simply being with you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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I think #4 on this list is critical. I just went to a seminar last night with Dr. Donald Whitney, who wrote the book Praying the Bible. I also wrote about this practice here: https://groundedinthebible.substack.com/p/praying-scripture Praying Scripture has truly transformed my prayer life.