This is Part 2 of last week’s article. If you missed Part 1, you can catch up here.
I sometimes wonder what the younger version of me would think if he could see my life now. The nervous guy in his late twenties standing behind a music stand to preach his first Sunday morning message.
He couldn’t see the finished picture. Honestly, I still can’t. That’s what makes Peter’s first meeting with Jesus so interesting to me.
Jesus Sees More Than the Current Version of You
As I’m reading through John 1, I get to verse 42 and see Andrew bringing Simon to Jesus and Jesus takes one look at him and says:
“You are Simon the son of John. You shall be called Cephas.”
John 1:42, ESV
Cephas corresponds to Peter, which means “rock.”
Even with that name, Peter wasn’t the perfect picture of a disciple.
He was impulsive. He was bold and sometimes he spoke before he thought. He misunderstood Jesus a lot and even tried to correct Him on a few occasions. He made huge promises and later, he denied Jesus.
Then he was restored.
By Pentecost, we see this same Peter standing in leadership and boldly proclaiming the message of Christ. You know, what’s really interesting is that he is called “Rock” before he looks much like one.
I think about that when I look back at some of the earlier versions of myself.
The first real Sunday morning sermon I ever gave was at a little Baptist church. I had taught lessons and spoken in different scenarios before, but this was my first Sunday morning message. The sanctuary looked like something out of the 1970s, with wooden pews and an organ.
I was in my late twenties, standing in the center of the stage with a music stand in front of me. I believe God gave me a message for them. Habakkuk’s story was on display and I passionately shared the text and then connected it to reaching the community instead of becoming an insulated group of people that never reached out.
I was so nervous that I could have stood there and read the notes word for word, but I didn’t. I was still tied to them, though, because I was afraid people would notice how nervous I was.
When I finished, people were appreciative.
The younger version of me would be surprised by how well I can carry myself in front of a group of people now. Our current church is many times larger than that first little Baptist church, and although I still get nervous sometimes, it isn’t something I think about very much anymore.
In all the things the Lord has led me to do, He keeps showing me that I need to care less about what people think and care more about what He thinks.
It’s hard for me to imagine that God can use the times when I feel inexperienced or unqualified.
But He does.
Peter is a good reminder that God does not wait until every weakness is gone before He uses someone. Peter failed badly. He denied Jesus when it mattered most, and Jesus still restored him.
That doesn’t mean failure doesn’t matter or that sin doesn’t have consequences. Repentance matters. But Jesus can tell the truth about us while still seeing more in us.
I’ve confused unfinished with unqualified many times, especially when I’m afraid my unfinished side might affect someone else. Being unfinished means God still has work to do in me. It does not automatically mean He cannot use me while He is doing it.
The Things We Use for Identity Keep Changing
It’s easy to define yourself by your job title or your ministry position.
I remember a time when I first started working at the church I grew up in. I walked into the pastor’s office and asked, “What is the title for my role?”
I didn’t really understand why that question might sound strange. To me, a title was simply an explanation for what you did and what position you had on the team.
I remember him looking at me funny and confirming the title. Later, we had a conversation about how unstable titles can be, how they change, and how they often don’t reflect everything a person actually does.
Titles probably matter to me more than I wanted to admit. I also know that criticism tends to stick with me longer than encouragement does, which probably explains why uncertainty about my role can get under my skin so easily.
There have been times when I’ve faced uncertainty about my role and what authority I do or don’t have. It has taught me that outside of the church leadership structure and outside of the successes and failures of executive leadership, I am still a pastor. I am still a shepherd.
The same thing can happen outside ministry. A job can change without changing your value. A relationship can end without erasing who you are. A season of being needed can pass without making you unnecessary.
Sometimes the role changes before we have figured out who we are without it.
There is a big difference between calling and position. I will continue to love and serve the Lord regardless of what happens to a particular position.
Success can be just as unstable as failure when we use it to decide who we are.
I’ve learned that I am the same person with or without the title. If other people don’t recognize what I believe God has called me to do, I’m still the same person. I still need to be faithful to what the Lord has asked of me.
I’m also the same person if an article goes viral or if it flops.
You can take personality tests, ask others for their opinions on you, but their ideas still does not have final authority over my identity. The only one who gets the final word on my identity is my heavenly Father. He is the one who created me and called me. He knows my experiences, failures, and successes.
He is the one who calls me His own. That is my identity before anything else.
Maybe “Who Am I?” Is the Second Question
John actually gives us language for this earlier in the chapter:
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”
John 1:12, ESV
John doesn’t leave the identity question completely unanswered. In the same chapter where he spends so much time telling us who Jesus is, he also tells us what happens to those who receive Him. We become children of God.
That doesn’t answer every question about personality, calling, work, or the future, but it gives all of those questions somewhere solid to begin.
I think John spends so much time telling us who Jesus is because Jesus eventually gives this invitation:
“Come and see.”
When Jesus is your starting point, the identity question begins somewhere much more secure.
John is talking about those who have received Christ and believed in His name. Paul describes that same response in Romans 10:9 as confessing Jesus as Lord and believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead.
For those who have put their faith in Christ, being a child of God is where our identity begins.
Being a child of God doesn’t mean we should stop thinking about who we are, how we are supposed to serve the Kingdom, or what our gifts and talents are. Healthy self-awareness means understanding that I am a child of God, while also understanding that I am flawed, redeemed, and still being changed.
The problem comes when I get down on myself because I’m not the perfect picture of the person I think I should already be.
Jesus knows me at a level nobody else does. That gives Him an authority to define me that the people in my life simply do not have.
When I start with myself, I am wholly inadequate to make myself worthy of being a child of God. When I start with Jesus, I remember that I have been redeemed through Him.
What Do I Do Tomorrow?
1. Pay Attention to Your Mirrors
The first thing you need to do is pay attention to your mirrors.
Ask yourself what makes your mood about yourself rise or fall. Is it the way people talk to you? Is it what someone thinks about you? Is it whether something went well at work?
We have to be careful about making external circumstances the foundation for how we understand ourselves.
For the next week, pay attention to the moments when your opinion of yourself suddenly changes. Maybe someone criticizes you and you immediately feel worthless. Maybe someone praises you and suddenly everything feels fine again.
When that happens, stop and ask, “What did I just decide this means about me?”
That question may show you which mirror has been carrying too much weight.
Sometimes that mirror is a parent. Sometimes it is a pastor, leader, family member, or friend. Sometimes it is simply whether you succeeded or failed.
Their opinion may be important. Your achievements may matter. But neither has the authority to tell you what you are worth.
Your failure doesn’t define you any more than your success does.
2. Identify Your Labels
The second thing I would encourage you to do is identify your labels.
Here is an exercise for this week. Write down the labels you have put on yourself.
Maybe it’s successful. Failure. Rejected. Gifted. Not enough. Divorced. Addict. Difficult. Disappointing.
Then ask the question: Who gave you that label?
Is it describing something that happened, or is it defining who you are?
Are you treating somebody’s opinion as God’s verdict?
Don’t immediately replace the label with a nicer one. Ask where it came from first.
Maybe “failure” came from one decision you regret. Maybe “difficult” came from one person who didn’t know what to do with you. Maybe “successful” came from a season when everyone seemed impressed.
Understanding where the label came from helps you decide whether it ever had the authority to define you in the first place.
3. Look at Jesus
I would recommend that you read John 1 slowly. Maybe continue through the Gospel.
Instead of immediately asking, “What does this say about me?” first ask, “What does this show me about Jesus?”
I think that matters because as you understand who Jesus is, you begin to understand who you are supposed to be as someone who follows Him.
4. Take the Next Faithful Step
There will be many times in your life when you already know what the next faithful step is, but you are anxious to take it. You do not need to know what the finished version of your life looks like before you obey what God has already made clear.
Maybe it’s an apology. Maybe it’s somewhere you need to serve. Maybe you need to pray, have a conversation, start something, stop something, or ask for help.
Be faithful with what you already know.
5. Let Yourself Be Unfinished
There are plenty of things I’m still working on, including this feeling that I need to be good enough. That one still pops up more than I’d like to admit.
I’m so glad Jesus did not demand that we become perfect before we could follow Him.
Personal spiritual growth is very different from proving yourself. I think that’s where we sometimes go wrong. We start treating growth like evidence that we are finally good enough for God or for the people around us.
We don’t need to prove ourselves. We need to love Him and serve Him faithfully.
The story of Peter teaches me that God is patient. He keeps working with people who have doubts, questions, failures, and confused ideas about who they are.
And He keeps working.
You Do Not Have to Know the Finished Version of Yourself
When I think back to the person I was at that little Baptist church, giving my first Sunday morning message in my late twenties, I didn’t know what God had in store.
I didn’t know whether what I was doing would even be something I would do for the rest of my life.
I was worried that I wouldn’t communicate well, that people wouldn’t want me to speak anymore, or that the whole thing would be a wasted effort.
But that wasn’t the whole story.
God was doing something in me that I couldn’t really articulate at the time. Over time, some of the anxiety that had such a grip on me started to loosen.
Maybe as you read this today, you feel behind or forgotten. Maybe you feel confused. Maybe you feel too damaged to be used by God, or maybe you don’t think you are impressive enough.
Maybe you are unsure about your calling. Maybe you have failures in your life that you feel have defined you. Maybe you simply cannot see what God could possibly do next.
I want you to know that you have not been forgotten.
I can’t tell you what God is going to do with every part of your story. I couldn’t have told the guy standing behind that music stand in his late twenties what the next fifteen years would look like either.
What I do know is that being unfinished does not put you outside the reach of God. Your worst season does not leave Him wondering what to do with you.
In John 1:39, Jesus says: “Come and you will see.”
That is the invitation. Come and see.
You do not need to have yourself figured out before you can follow Jesus or before He can use you in a meaningful way.
If you have put your faith in Christ, you are His child before you are anything else.
Follow Him from there.
Help Reach Someone Who Feels Unfinished
If this reminded you that God is still working on the unfinished parts of your story, you can help make sure someone else hears that too.
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